• at April 28, 2018

    Without going into too much detail about my complicated family history, one of our children was adopted from a local orphanage. We don’t know who the parents were. We never cared to find out.

    It sounds cliche, but we treated and loved our Rebecca exactly the same as our birth children. The fact that she is adopted has never been an issue for us. However, my husband and I made a conscious decision to tell Rebecca that she was adopted at a young age. We didn’t want to keep her background a secret. We didn’t want her to find out  about her past some other way.

    Rebecca is a healthy teenager now, and I guess she’s at the age where she’s feeling a bit curious about her background. Recently, she told us that she wanted to get a DNA test done, just to learn more about herself.

    I must say, I don’t know how I should feel about this? Part of me is a little afraid that we’re heading down a rabbit hole with many uncertain possibilities. This DNA test is going to open up a lot of unanswered questions, possibly some questions that we don’t want to know the answers to.

    I wouldn’t even know where to get started with the DNA testing anyway. How does it work? Where do I get one? Is it recommended for adopted children?

  • at April 29, 2018

    What an interesting dilemma! To test or not to test, that is the question. I don’t envy your position at all…

  • at April 29, 2018

    I think you should take the test with your daughter, but you should also set her expectations accordingly. Just make sure she doesn’t get her hopes up about making any earth-shattering revelations. Remind her the DNA test won’t give her all the answers she’s looking for. It’ll provide a lot of helpful information about her ancestry and her medical history, yes. It’ll NOT lead her back to her birth parents, no. Spell it out clearly for her so she doesn’t get any wrong ideas about the test.

  • at April 29, 2018

    Be careful. It could be like opening a Pandora’s Box. It could bring back a lot of emotions and memories for all of you. Maybe this could be a good thing though.

  • at April 30, 2018

    Yeah, we haven’t even taken the test yet and I’m already feeling quite emotional about it. I’m just apprehensive about the idea of my daughter revisiting a past that we’ve left alone for so many years. I don’t think she’ll make any major discoveries either, but who knows what could happen?

  • at April 30, 2018

    I have a slightly different take on your situation. I think this could be a positive learning experience for both you and your daughter. Being curious about your background is human nature. You should encourage your daughter to ask questions, pursue new knowledge, and gain more confidence in herself. This is a good thing.

    You made the right call telling your daughter about her adoption early on. The fact that she came to you for help with the DNA test is a sign of trust. Just think, she could’ve done this test alone behind your back, but she chose your guidance instead. That means she wants to involve you in the process. No matter what you find out with the test results, your daughter wants you there by her side for emotional support.

    Taking a DNA test is actually quite simple. First, you should order a DNA sample testing kit online. The ones from CRI Genetics should come within 3-5 days. The kit will come with detailed instructions. Follow these closely. You’ll collect your sample, seal it into an envelope, and send it over to the laboratory for DNA analysis.

    The waiting is the toughest part. Be patient, and keep yourself occupied so you don’t spend all day thinking about the results. It should take around 6-8 weeks for your report to arrive. This will be a comprehensive report containing many intricate details about your ancestry. Your daughter will learn a lot about her parental lineage with precise numbers about her genetic make-up.

    I genuinely believe this could be a positive experience for your family. As long as you’re there to provide guidance and support, you and your daughter will come out of this DNA test stronger than before.

  • at May 1, 2018

    Thanks for the words of support, Penny! Your explanation was very thorough and helpful. I got a good night of sleep and feel a whole lot better about the process. I’ll go purchase a DNA kit and get started with my daughter. You were right, let’s turn this process into a positive experience for us!

  • at May 2, 2018

    These DNA tests are awesome. I had a friend who took one of these tests and found out he might be related to a famous celebrity. All speculative of course, but the results could still be pretty cool and interesting.

  • at May 3, 2018

    Imagine if your daughter took the DNA test and found out she was the long lost daughter of…Shania Twain. DUN DUN DUN!